The Kid is back
Sunday morning after our worship time, Wife and I jumped in the van and made the five-hour trip to Marseille where Son 1 was waiting for us. Saturday night was their closing banquet for his year-long spiritual internship, and Sunday morning there was a special time set aside before worship to honor them. The church and staff said their good-byes to Son 1 and the three other young ladies who had followed the internship. It was an excellent year for all.
It’s good to have Son 1 back with us and I know the “return home” can be difficult. After a year of “semi-freedom” he (and we) gets to live in a family again, with all the benefits and, um, restrictions.
What do you think? As a parent, how can we make this “happy” transition work the best possible? I’d like to know what you think, even if you haven’t had this experience yet… (As far as I know, some of you still live at home!)
Thanks in advance for your help…
September 12th, 2006 at 2:10 pm
How to make it work will differ from one family to the next. I know when our daughter came home one summer between her second and third year in college, I wanted to place restrictions and she reminded me that she’d been on her "own" for two years. That wasn’t completely true for mom and dad were paying for her "on her own" expenses … but nevertheless, I had to realize that some of the previous restrictions were no longer valid in her situation. The only thing I would have demanded (and it never came to this) would have been defiance or rebellious behavior / attitudes toward us or our values.
Glad you’re all together again, though. I love those few moments in our lives when we are all together.
I think that’s what makes it difficult, that their being on their own still implies you dishing out some serious cash. Son 1 is not rebellious, and we are certainly going to enjoy our time together, for the next 5 years or so will fly by.
September 12th, 2006 at 2:28 pm
Respect each other.
September 12th, 2006 at 3:30 pm
Glad to hear of your reunion. I recall coming back home for a summer following my first year of college. As you’ve articulated re-defining and re-shaping parent / child relationships can be difficult and trying. Talk about it together. Talk about those core principles in your house that never change regardless of the age of the children (or parents). Talk about the areas where greater freedom is extended. Talk about the increased responsibilities and priviliges of one who is becoming an adult.
So simple, but rarely done… Just sit down and talk about expectations. That takes care of so many future difficulties…
September 12th, 2006 at 4:36 pm
In agreement with Randy. As long as the communication lines are open, most issues can be worked out satisfactorily.
September 12th, 2006 at 5:03 pm
While I do somewhat agree with Greg, Randy, Judy, and sjsings, I believe you should start the “reunification” talk with your son like this:
“Son, I love you but always remember I brought you into this world so I can always take you out.”
As I take my tongue out of my (doesn’t sound very good does it) cheek I agree with all the advice already given to you by my astute blogging colleagues. I thought I would throw in some “southern wisdom.” Enjoy the time with your son.
Cecil will not be flying out to Switzerland to counsel us in this situation…
September 12th, 2006 at 5:27 pm
Ce-Ce: You left out the part about offering him a tall, cold glass of the “champagne of the South” before delivering that southern piece of advice!
You are too funny!
September 13th, 2006 at 12:20 am
Judy: “Ce-Ce” says a sure sign of civilization is any locale that serves the “Champagne of the South.”